Richard Kriheli

Dearest Cola,

I am writing this letter to you to formally request a divorce. I don’t think we should go the separation route, as we’d be kidding ourselves and making excuses to coexist. Let’s face it, our relationship has fizzled over the years and I feel it is best for us to go our separate ways. We’re not good for one another.

There was a time when you were always around and available when I needed you. You were cool and refreshing company. You tickled my insides with your spark, bubbly effervescence, and striking caramel color. Our dinners used to have a lot more pep, now everything is still. I don’t even have to shake you.

Lately things have just gone flat. Things seem more complicated now: you appear to be preoccupied with counting calories and changing your look so often that you’ve become almost unrecognizable. Even when you appear sweet, it’s all pretense because we both know it’s all artificial. And those nicknames were just brutal. Pop? Come on, most folks call their father that. Big turn off.

So, it’s over between us. It has been for a long time. The fizz is gone. I need time to cleanse myself. I am not necessarily prepared to find a suitable replacement just yet, and I figure to test out the waters when I am ready. But for now, I renounce my reliance to you and will choose to just walk away.

With this farewell, I wish you the best with your future and have little doubt that others will latch on to you as I have. And I’m sure you’d stick to them too (pun intended).

Always,

Richard’s Health.
“Life tastes Good”